A Christmas Carol Into Dreams
by The Exile
Summary: Wizeman meets three ghosts who teach him the true meaning of Christmas. With cameo appearances from Sonic, Alex Kidd, Goldark from Dragon Force, Myau from Phantasy Star and Samus.
1. Chapter 1

A Christmas Carol Into Dreams

Nightopia was looking extremely festive.

Every tree in Spring Valley was festooned with tinsel and baubles. The Nightopians all wore their Santa hats as they played in the snowy banks of Frozen Bell. They made snowmen, had snowball fights and sledged down hills. Some Nightopians were fishing cakes out of the river in preparation for their Christmas dinner. Clawz was dressed as Santa Clawz. Even Stick Canyon was looking festive – the furnace was warm and cosy as Reala had thrown lots of trespassers into it that morning, and he was now roasting chestnuts over it. He suddenly realised he hadn't seen another Nightmaren in over an hour. This was highly suspicious, so he went to find them.

He was surprised to find them all hovering just above a grassy bank, looking very intently at something, not saying a word or moving. Whatever could it be that had held NiGHTs' attention span for more than five seconds? Why were Puffy and Jackle not still fighting over that box of make-up that the giant rabbit insisted Jackle stole? Why wasn't Gilwing doing his shift? He flew up to take a closer look.

It was Jackle's laptop. They were all looking at eBay.

"We want that for Christmas." explained Clawz, pointing at Jung's Red Book, "But it costs a lot of money. A lot more money than Wizeman will ever pay us, the stingy slave-driving bastard."

"Could you have a word with him?" asked NiGHTs, "He's more likely to listen to you. You're his second in command."

"Explain to him that it would be useful for work." suggested Jackle, "Its perfect inspiration for nightmares."

"Its just a stupid BOOK." Reala snorted, "Why should I risk my head by bothering Wizeman over a stupid book?"

"You'll do it for me, won't you, Realikins?" Puffy made a smoochy face at him, "Naughty Realikins! He deserves a spanking!"

"NOOOO! STOP IT!" yelled Reala, desperately trying to block out the hideous mental images even if it meant clawing his own eyes out, "Okay, okay, I'll ask about the stupid book. Just don't let her near me!"

He darted off as fast as he could fly. He was a first class Nightmaren, Wizeman's right hand man, much more powerful than Puffy - why was it so easy for her to break his brain?

–


	2. Chapter 2

"You want to buy a WHAT?"

"A book."

"Reala, I'm not giving you that much money to burn!"

"I'm not going to burn it!" insisted Reala, "Its not for me anyway! Its for the other Nightmaren! Its their Christmas present."

"Since when did you do anything for anyone else?"

"Its Christmas! Christmas is a time of loving and sharing and giving, when even Nightmaren need to be filled with the spirit of joy and good will!" lied Reala.

"You're lying." said Wizeman, "I can read your thoughts, you moron."

"Puffy will molest me if I don't!"

"I don't care. Go away." said Wizeman, grabbing his subordinate with three of his giant hands and dragging him out of a portal he opened up in mid air. Muttering to himself, he returned to his wall of many, many view screens that showed him all the dreams of everyone in the waking world.

They were annoyingly hopeful. Everyone was happily anticipating Christmas day. The Nightopians were being even more mind-numbingly cheerful and jolly than usual. The only thing Wizeman could get them to really be terrified of was how much money they were spending. Wizeman agreed with them. He hated spending money. He had created beings of pure nightmare who didn't need to eat, sleep or breathe, who could work ultra efficiently night and day, and yet they still somehow found things to spend money on... how many times a day, for instance, did Puffy really need to repaint her lair? And what did Jackle need forty five d20s for?

A noise from behind him made him whirl around. It was a pale apparition that glowed an unearthly blue. It was difficult to tell, but the incorporeal shade reminded him a little of Sonic the Hedgehog. It was in chains, like a prisoner.

"Wooooooooo!" it said, "I am a ghost!"

"Sonic's alive." Wizeman pointed out,

"I represent Sega as a whole!" it spread its arms out and waved them about in the most pathetically melodramatic way he had ever seen since he had the misfortune of being invited to one of Puffy's operas.

"If this is Reala's idea of a joke." said Wizeman, "I'm going to flay him and behead him and hang him and electrocute him and chop him up into little bits and throw him in his own furnace and..."

"I am not the creation of a Nightmaren! I am a reflection of your soul's own guilty conscience!" said the Ghost of Sega.

"Look, it wasn't my fault Sega fell, okay?" Wizeman scratched his head using four of his hands.

"Be honest with yourself. You feel at least partly to blame." said the ghost, "There are things you could have done. Dreams and visions can be very inspiring before a battle... they raise morale... all that red Ideya you have stored away..."

"I didn't know! Who was it exactly who forgot to tell me?"

"That a war was raging? How could you miss it? Its your own fault you never venture outside your front door!"

"Say theoretically that I did feel guilty," said Wizeman, "What's the point in telling me now? What's done is done."

"Your greed and selfishness will cause nothing but misery." said the ghost, "I have come to warn you before it is too late, like it was too late for me. You will be haunted by three ghosts tonight. The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"But I work the night shift! I can't be haunted AND watch the cameras!"

"You think you're under stress? I'm the ghost of a defeated nation. Deal with it."

With that last sentence, the ghost curled into a ball and spin-dashed through the wall.


	3. Chapter 3

That night, almost the moment Wizeman had settled back down and forgotten about the annoying ghost and his message of dire warning, there was a noise like somebody eating loudly. Stood behind him was another familiar figure, stuffing his face with a hamburger.

"Alex Kidd?"

"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past, dummy!" said Alex Kidd, folding his arms, "I've come to show you visions of your past."

Wizeman shrugged, "Its not like anything ever changes around here, one Christmas is the same as another."

"Then you have nothing to fear, right?" said Alex Kidd, grinning his childish grin, "C'mon, take my hand."

One of Wizeman's hands floated forward and the boy grasped it. His grip was surprisingly strong for a small boy who was supposed to be a ghost; Wizeman remembered that the boy could break rocks with his bare hands. Then he was hauled upwards through the formless void of Wizeman's realm. After a long and rather boring journey, the void broke and they entered a realm that looked a lot like the Nightmare Realm. However, it was still under construction. Reala flew past, pieces of scaffolding under his arms. Puffy was painting the side of a wooden shed that Clawz was still nailing planks to. NiGHTs was asleep under a tree.

"NiGHTs! Stop slacking!" yelled Wizeman.

"They can't hear you. This is a vision, merely a shade of what was." said Alex Kidd. As they watched, Reala spotted his younger brother, shook him awake and slapped him around the head.

"NiGHTs was always slacking off." said Wizeman, sighing, "I should have known he'd turn traitor. He wasn't like the other Nightmaren. Well... not the slacking off part, they all do that, but..."

Suddenly, he saw himself appear in the realm. He didn't look any different then, but somehow he knew it was a younger version of himself. He started yelling orders to all the Nightmaren, his hands floating around, pointing to where everything should go.

"We were all so enthusiastic back then. It was all so new and exciting." said Wizeman, "I didn't think anyone remembered this far back. How long ago was this? It must have been at least twenty thousand years ago!"

"Nightmaren!" yelled the Wizeman from the past, "We are engaging in a new venture! We will be the first to control the forces of nightmare! Dreams can reach the hearts of all living things... the raw energy of their souls... we can inspire, no we can CONTROL people. We can devour their souls and make them ours! Today, Nightopia, tomorrow, the Universe!"

"How many Universes did you control, Wizeman?" asked Alex Kidd, "You couldn't even control Nightopia. One of your own creations and two children stopped you. Children! And what you did control, you never managed to defend... not really..."

"Oh, shut up." said Wizeman.

"You're just a caretaker, Wizeman, you're not a true ruler. You have no vision." said Alex Kidd, "And now the Nightmare realm is just another of their provinces, just like everywhere else in this dump. How did that grand vision come to this?"

"And Radaxian is in SO much better shape!"

"I told you, I'm not really Alex Kidd! I'm the Ghost of Christmas..."

"I don't care who you are, go away and stop insulting me!"

"Fine, my hour's almost up anyway."Alex Kidd yawned and looked at his watch. Then he grabbed Wizeman without warning and dragged him back into his own realm.


	4. Chapter 4

When he reappeared, Wizeman would have had a heart attack if he actually had any internal organs or indeed a body apart from a cloak, a head and lots of hands. A large, hairy man was in his office, sat on top of a huge pile of food next to a giant Christmas tree and a roaring fire in a fireplace even larger than Reala's furnace. He held a goblet of wine in one hand and a chicken leg in the other. Belted to the side of the armour that covered his huge frame were two swords. His wild hair looked like a lion's mane.

"Ho ho ho! Merry Warden's Birthd... er, I mean, Christmas!" he roared heartily, spilling the wine down himself and dropping the chicken.

"Goldark?"

"Oh, so you do remember me? Why do you never turn up to Level Bosses' Guild meetings any more, eh?"

"Legendra's kind of far away." said Wizeman.

"Nonsense! Robotnik turns up and he's on the other side of the galaxy!"

"I'm glad you turned up anyway, I was afraid it was another stupid ghost."

"Oh... er... yeah... about that..." he wiped his beard on his sleeve, "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present. Not Goldark. I was lying. Honest!"

"How do you ghosts eat? Alex Kidd had a hamburger too!"

"It was the ghost of a hamburger. Now, if you've met Alex Kidd, I'm guessing you know the drill already."

"You're going to show me a vision of the present, right? As if I wasn't already in the present and perfectly able to see for myself..."

"Yes, but do you ever look outside your own front door?"

"That's what Sonic..."

"Come on already! No wasting time!" Goldark grabbed Wizeman by one of his hands and lifted him up into the void again.

Wizeman found himself in the clearing just outside the entrance to Nightopia again. However, instead of being hard at work, the Nightmaren were all crowded around a laptop. They muttered in low, angry voices.

"Hmph, didn't really expect him to say yes." muttered Jackle, "Stingy fat bastard."

"Now how are we going to find the money?" asked Clawz, "I'm not giving up! I have my claws dug in now!"

"I dunno. Steal it?" suggested Gilwing.

"From where? Nobody else has any money!"

"We could con some dreamer into giving it to us." said Reala, "But they're careful with their money these days."

"What in Nightmare's name are they talking about?" Wizeman asked. He guessed it was either Puffy or Gulpo – as Puffy was sitting right next to them and would have reacted hysterically to even a perceived insult, probably Gulpo. Gulpo never left his pond so it was safe to talk about him behind his back.

"Hey, NiGHTs?"

"What?" asked NiGHts, giving Reala an irritable look. He had got bored and was flying around and around in circles.

"You've rebelled against Wizeman before, right?"

"Er... yes..."

"You know how to act directly against his wishes."

"Sort of... why?"

"I'm thinking of going on strike, or something. As a protest."

"WHAT?" roared Wizeman at the top of his sinister, booming voice, clenching all six of his fists.

"Er... I don't want to die on Christmas day, sorry." said NiGHTs.

"He wouldn't kill all of us. He needs us too much. He can't do all the work on his own. If we all go on strike at once, he has to listen to us."

"What if he decides its all my fault and just kills me?"

"It IS all your fault, you mangy, weaselly little flying rat!" yelled Wizeman, "I'm going to hang you and stab you and set you on fire and..."

Goldark burst into laughter, his hands on his hips.

"What's so funny? Did you set this up?" Wizeman glared at him.

"Me? They can't see me, any more than they can see you right now."

"Hey, you know, I've been thinking..." said Clawz suddenly, "Do we even need a Wizeman?"

"What do you mean?" asked NiGHTs.

"I was thinking, we could just set up by ourselves. Find our own patch of nightmare somewhere and go freelance. How hard can it be to run a nightmare realm?"

"RIGHT, THAT'S IT, YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" roared Wizeman, his hands shooting out to grab NiGHTs and Reala. Of course, they just passed through the images of the two Nightmaren as if they weren't there, "What's so goddamn funny, Goldark?

"Don't you remember? This is exactly what we did when we were apprentices!"


	5. Chapter 5

Goldark was gone again, taking with him his tree, fireplace, huge trays of food and wine. Wizeman's realm was once again a bleak void. It had never bothered him in his entire life – he actually found its simplicity rather aesthetically pleasing – and right now he wanted to be alone more than anything else. The ghosts had filled him with guilt, rage and paranoia. Nightmares were not supposed to feel emotions at all, never mind weak emotions, the emotions of prey, not predators. He fixed his six eyes on the monitors, resolving firmly not to turn around for any more ghosts.

Something small and furry started rubbing against his legs and purring.

No, he thought, I will NOT look down! There are NO cats in my realm, because I did not put any cats there or permit any cats to enter, and nothing happens in my realm without my permission!

The cat jumped onto the monitor he was looking at and started batting it with its paw, obscuring his vision. It was a bright orange-yellow colour with silky ears and an unusually long tail, more like a squirrel than a cat.

"Are you Myau?" asked Wizeman.

"Meow." agreed the cat.

"You can't possibly expect me to believe that the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come is a CAT!"

"Meow."

"Myau can talk." said Wizeman, "So you can't be the real Myau. Answer me... are you the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?"

"Meow."

"Not Meow! Yes or no!"

"Meow." the cat yawned and licked its fur.

"Okay, okay, maybe I need to buy a Magic Cap or something..."

"Meow." replied the cat, before jumping off the monitor and walking across the floor to the edge of the void. Wizeman shrugged and followed it. Unlike the other ghosts, Myau didn't wait for him or offer to help him. He had to negotiate his own way through the void. Not that this was a problem for him.

He emerged again in that clearing outside the entrance to Nightopia. This time, it was totally empty. Not only of Nightmaren, but also Nightopians, and there were always hundreds of them. It was completely silent. The fountain was overgrown and left to ruin, the statue weathered away. One of the doors was falling off its hinges. A thin wind blew through the clearing.

"What happened here?" demanded Wizeman, "Did they really all leave me? Did I end up killing them all? Hey, don't run off!"

"Meow." said the cat. It was chasing after a newspaper that flapped as the wind blew it across the floor. It grabbed it in its mouth and held it up for Wizeman to take. He read the headlines on the front cover.

WAR NEGOTIATIONS FALL THROUGH. SEGA ANNEXED.

NIGHTMARE BOSS BANKRUPT IN STOLEN IDEYA SCAM.

NEW GAME AND WATCH GALLERY ANNOUNCED.

WIZEMAN REFUSES TO PAY DEBTS. SAMUS HIRED.

"'Samus hired'? Do they always announce it to the press whenever they hire a bounty hunter? How is a bounty hunter supposed to track their prey silently if its plastered all over the front..."

Wizeman fell silent. He heard a sound behind him, a loud thud like metal on stone. Then there was a humming sound like an energy weapon being charged up. He looked around slowly. Samus stood behind him, beam cannon pointed straight at his head.

"She can't actually see me, right?" Wizeman asked Myau. But he could already answer his own question. He could tell just by looking into those eyes that she knew exactly where he was.


	6. Chapter 6

Wizeman woke up screaming.

"Hey, boss, are you okay?" asked Reala. All the Nightmaren were staring down at him.

"A freak unregistered nightmare opened up right over your lair. It was absolutely huge. We were worried about you, so we all flew in to investigate." explained Clawz.

Unregistered nightmares were nightmares that the Nightmaren hadn't managed to process the Ideya from and direct to suit their own needs - they were a little planets that hadn't been terraformed yet, wild and completely inhospitable. They tended to pop up in random places without warning. Wizeman's lair was built in a place where he knew there was an astronomically low chance of one manifesting, but one had: one of a magnitude greater than any seen for thousands of years. And on Christmas Eve, too. Some people have all the luck, thought Wizeman.

"Sorry if we were trespassing, but we can't let the boss come to any harm before he's paid us." said Gilwing, "We didn't know you were busy having a fun dream."

"WHAT? FUN?" shrieked Wizeman, "How in any sense of the word 'fun' can it be applied to..."

"Well, you kept ranting on about Samus." said Gilwing, "I've seen some very fun dreams about Samus. Why, once..."

"Just shut up." ordered Wizeman. His head hurt and he didn't want to hear Samus' name again. "I suppose you should be rewarded for rescuing me. I know... I'll buy you that book you were after for Christmas!"

"Really?" yelled Puffy, "Thank you! I always knew you were a kind and generous boss really! The others doubted you but not me, sir! Oh no! I would never do a thing like that!"

"Shut up and get back to work." said Wizeman, "If you manage to repair the damage done by the anomaly, I'll give you Christmas day off!"

With those words, the Nightmaren shot off to repair Wizeman's lair. On Christmas day, they took the day off and spent it arguing over who got to read the book first. All except Gulpo, who spent it swimming around and around in his pool, eating the tub of fish food Gilwing got him as a present. Due to Ike losing a drinking contest with an off-duty Samus on Christmas Eve and being unable to attend the meeting the following day, the negotiations didn't fail and Sega gradually regained some of its independence. Everyone was happy except Myau, who had hairballs. Wizeman had learnt the True Meaning of Christmas: Christmas is a fun day to screw around with everyone's head, just like every other day of the year.


End file.
